


Be More Chill Headcannons and Other Various Shenanigans

by Gold1locks



Category: Be More Chill
Genre: Bisexual Jeremy Heere, Bisexual Rich Goranski, Britton’s Jake!, But also a truckload of fluff, Christine Canigula is a Mom, Demiboy Jeremy Heere, Everyone is gay folks!, F/F, F/M, Gay Michael Mell, Get ready for some angst, Lesbian Asexual Jenna Rolan, Lesbian Brooke Lohst, M/M, Other, Panromantic Asexual Christine Canigula, Pansexual Chloe Valentine, Pansexual Jake Dillinger, Tiffany’s Jenna!, Trans Michael Mell, Troy’s Jeremy!, We’ve got tons of musical references
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-27 06:38:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 8,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19785283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gold1locks/pseuds/Gold1locks
Summary: Hello Beauties! Welcome one and all to a book FILLED with my assorted collection of BMC HC’s and the occasional one shotEnjoy! :D





	1. Jeremy Heere

**_Jeremy Heere Headcannons_**

* * *

-His full name is Jeremiah Ariel Heere

-Bisexual demiboy

-Despite Rich calling him tall-ass he’s only 5’7

-He’s extremely lanky, most of his height comes from his legs.

-Covered in acne and acne scars all over his face 

-The SQUIP’s spinal stimulation left electric blue scars all down his back.

-He has some sparse freckles dotted on his face

-Michael helps him put on scar cream on his back 

-Michael also likes to doodle on his scars and acne when he’s bored

-Usually he’ll draw flowers, or try to make constellations out of them to make Jeremy feel better 

-Other times he just draws dicks

-Has anxiety, depression, and anemia which makes him bruise easily.

-He loves sea creatures!! He volunteers at the aquarium during the summer 

-He has lots of nervous ticks, like biting his fingernails 

-Often times after he’s bitten his nails to the core he’ll start biting his hand

-Brooke and Chloe begin to notice this and take charge. Brooke wraps his hands in ace bandages and Chloe gave him a guitar pick on a necklace for him to chew on when he gets stressed. 

-Has a ton of stim toys and squishies, most of them sea creatures. 

-Once upon a time he and Michael decided it would be cool to be able to skateboard. They got too small skateboards from a yard sale and Jeremy (being the klutz he is) tripped on the halfpipe. His teeth got so fucked up he had to get braces he still wears to this day. He usually has them the colours of the bisexual flag

-His hair is silky and curly when it’s short but if he lets it grow out it becomes easily tangled and just a _MESS_. It swallows everything, he’s lost like four hairbrushes. 

-He started to get a crush on Christine in eighth grade. To try and impress her/get closer to her Jeremy auditioned for the school play. He was cast as Charlie Brown in ‘ _You’re a Good Man Charlie Brown!_ ’ 

-After the SQUIPCIDENT the shit he received at school got worse.He wears long oversized sweaters for comfort and to cover up the bruises and scratches he gets from being beat up.

-He has dolphin fursona he made as a joke with Brooke and now everyone calls him a furry. 

-He was always generally feminine, when he was little his mother even bought him a tutu. Jeremy hid his liking for these things for the fear of being teased but after the SQUIP he stopped caring so much about what people thought and decided to wear what he wanted. Even if it means wearing a skirt or a dress he just goes ‘Fuck it’ 

-Ultra sensitive to weather changes, he gets cold and sick super easily. When he’s sick he gets so weak he can’t eat soup with a spoon so he drinks it from a slushee cup. 

-Halfway responsible for getting Christine high. 

-Sold all of his mother’s Beanie Boos plus used his bar mitzvah money to afford a SQUIP. 

-He gets insomnia and nightmares after the SQUIPCIDENT. He’s also scared of loud noises (fireworks, explosions, gunshots, people screaming at him, etc)

-The SQUIP comes back every month or so and Jeremy chugs Mountain Dew red till it’s gone. He drinks Mountain Dew Red regularly just to make sure it doesn’t come back. 

-He knows how to play the guitar and is learning how to play the ukulele. 

-Rich and him are really good friends. They bonded over all the traumatic shit they went through. 

-He had to learn Hebrew for his bar mitzvah. He then learned Tagalog to learn what the heck Michael was saying. Michael and him now have full on conversations in Tagalog when they don’t want people to understand what they’re saying. 

-Jeremy and Michael got matching sweaters but Jeremy’s says ‘ _L O S E R_ ’. But after the bathroom incident he stitched over it and now it says  ‘ _L O V_ _~~ S  ~~ E R’.  _

-He knows how to embroider, sew, and mend clothes. He does it for fun now but his mother would often forget to buy him new clothes and he’d have to fix them himself. 

-Jake and him were never on bad terms but after Jake started dating Rich they got closer. They’re track and field buds now. 

-Brooke has adopted Jeremy as her and Chloe’s son™ 

-Cannot dance _FOR SHIT._

-He’ll wake up from nightmares at four in the morning and hug his pillow till he calms down. 

-He has to go to therapy after the SQUIP, he goes to the same therapist as Michael and their therapist is a lovely lady named Veronica. 

-He’ll wear makeup but he’s not GOOD at it, he usually gets Jenna to do it. 

-Jeremy’s got a little bit of a stammer, but when he was younger it was way more noticeable. He was really shy as a kid and stuttered out and mixed up his words all the time.


	2. The Heere Family

* * *

_**The Heere Family Headcannons**_

* * *

-Jeremy’s parents were married for 25 years. 

-His Dad’s name is Paul Christopher Heere and he’s a divorce lawyer 

-His Mom’s name was Shelia Antonia Pendleton (she became Heere when married) 

-She was a stay-at-home Mom and a part time seamstress 

-Paul loves to go fishing! He’s won tons of fishing trophy’s which he has in his office 

-Even on the weekends he wears dress -pants. He could be sitting in a bathrobe in the kitchen reading the newspaper in dress khakis.

-Paul and Mr. Alfonso Reyes (Mr.Reyes) are childhood friends! They went to the same high school and occasionally go out for coffee together. 

-He still wears his wedding ring

-A very good cook! He knows his ways around the kitchen but most days he’s so busy with work he only has time to make hot pockets or frozen food

-Now onto Mrs.Heere

-Shelia had severe anxiety, depression and probably some undiagnosed ADHD and bipolar disorder which only got worse as she got older 

-She also had arthritis that would make her hands shake like crazy 

-She was a very feeble and skinny lady, probably not measuring more than 5’3 and weighing about 105 pounds. 

-Shelia was not a stable woman, she would throw random hissy fits of anger and throw China plates at Jeremy. After said hissy fits she would break down in hysterics. 

-She was also very, VERY forgetful. Forgetting appointments, anniversaries, birthdays, heck once she even forgot who she was married to. Often times she forgot to pack Jeremy lunch, or to pick him up from Michael’s house. 

-Sometime during Jeremy’s freshman year Paul and Shelia got into a really big fight. Then the very next morning she was just,,,,,gone. 

-There was no sign of her anywhere, and no one had seen her disappear into the night. 

-Jeremy hears from her occasionally, saying some made up and clearly delusional story about her living on Coney Island with her new husband. 


	3. Michael Mell

_**Michael Mell Headcannons** _

* * *

-His full name is Michaelangelo Anias Mell 

-Gay trans boy 

-His birth name was Isabellabut he started going by Michael during seventh grade 

-He’s 6’1 

-He’s adopted!! He’s the middle child in a family of four, having an older brother and two younger sisters. 

-He has so many fucking freckles it’s insane. He also has a single mole under his right eye. 

-Will walk around in a binder and boxers and not give a shit

-For his 13th birthday Jeremy got him a weed patterned binder that he patterned himself. 

-His favourite way to get high is with friends

-He can play the guitar and the harmonica and he can sing pretty well. When Jeremy or one of his younger sisters can’t sleep he’ll sing them a lullaby till they do. 

-Has self harmed and has scars to prove it

-He has stretch marks and beauty marks all over his thighs and stomach

-He has the floofiest hair in the SQUAD and the most adorable bedhead this side of town. 

-His PT cruiser is named Petey and he has it decorated with all kinds of corny bumper stickers 

-He started testosterone freshman year and officially started the School year as Michael Mell.

-Michael is very out and very proud, he gets lots of shit for it at school but he learned to ignore it and stop giving a damn

-He has both his ears pierced with black heart shaped studs 

-Wears high top heelys he likes to roll around with. 

-He is the fourth most likely SQUAD member to burst into song 

-His Mamá put him in salsa classes when he was younger and he still remembers most of the lessons. Sometimes when he’s home alone he’ll put on his record player and dance around to the songs. 78% of the time Jeremy walks in on him dancing around the basement mindlessly. 

-After the SQUIPCIDENT he’s always worried he’ll come off as ‘Too Clingy’ and he always asks if he’s being annoying

-Has anxiety, mild depression and abandonment issues but he’s still generally a very upbeat person. 

-English is his third language! He grew up only talking Spanish and Tagalog till he was enrolled in preschool. He’ll curse and shout at people in Spanish and Tagalog when he doesn’t want them to understand him. 

-He’s probably the only elite member of the seven eleven. 

-He and Jeremy go to the same therapist. 

-He has light asthma and burn scars on his legs from the fire

-He’s the leader of the yearbook committee!!

-Has like a fuck ton of pets.He has two snakes named Zelda and Pixel, a bearded dragon named Nintendo and an axolotl named Cloud. 

-His family also owns an Australian Sheppard called Dora. And a flock of ten chickens.  The chickens hate him and always peck him whenever he has to feed them. 

-The chickens love Jeremy though. Jeremy’s favourite is named Helga. 

-After the SQUIPCIDENT he has a stash of Mt. Dew Red everywhere. A cooler in his basement, the entire bottom row of his fridge, a mini stash in his car, the janitor room at school, etc. 

-Music calms him down and he never takes off his headphones

-Hoodie gives added warmth so he’s always warm and open to cuddle.  Sits on Jeremy’s lap and falls asleep if really tired.

-Is the worst at remembering to eat and often skips meals. 

-Draws on Jeremy  cause it calms him down. Usually he connects the dots of his freckles and scars to make constellations, dicks, or video game characters. 

-Jenna and him have a ‘friendly’ rivalry on the title of Meme Queen


	4. The Mell Family

_**The Mell Family Headcannons** _

* * *

-Michael’s parents have been married since gay marriage was legalized, they have been together for fifteen years. 

-Michael’s Mamá is named Reyna, she’s the head manager at Starbucks and from Ecuador 

-Michael’s Mami is named Analin, she’s a primary school teacher and from the Philippines. 

-They’re not in the house much, often times leaving Michael to take care of him (and his sisters) himself. 

-Reyna used to be a boxer in college, while she doesn’t box anymore this woman is STRONG. She’ll sucker punch anyone. 

-When any of their children can’t sleep they’ll sing them lullabies til they fall asleep. 

-Their cooking is HEAVENLY. 

-They’re the proud mothers of four (adopted) children. The oldest is named Dante Oliver Mell, followed by Michael Mell, then Ligaya Mell and Camilla Mell.

-Dante is 22 and he used to be a huge jock growing up. 

-He was a supportive older brother, always seeming to know what to say or do to make his other siblings happy. Headjusted during Michael’s transition and would do anything to defend him. 

-Sadly Dante wasn’t very smart, his grades were slipping constantly with all the sports he played. He felt left behind, all his friends were going to colleges and he was stuck, he didn’t know what to do. 

-So he bought a SQUIP! 

-The SQUIP helped Dante go from a straight D student to a Freshman at Harvard with a 1530 on the SAT. 

-His family was so proud of him but one day during Dante’s sophomore year they got a call from the University that something had gone horribly wrong. 

-Dante had gone seemingly insane, getting enrolled into a mental institution after a breakdown in one of his seminars. 

-The Mells go to visit him as often as they can, but he doesn’t react to them. He just sits there, perfectly still. 

-Michael doesn’t want his sisters to suffer the same fate as his older brother so he protects them with all his heart. 

-The oldest is named Ligaya and she’s 15. She has brown eyes, light skin with freckles, and fiery red hair. She’s very hotheaded and sassy, up to date with all the modern trends and styles. She enjoys mutilating her Barbies. 

-The youngest is named Camila and she’s 12. She has dark brown skin splattered with vitiligo,even darker brown hair and deep green eyes. She is a lot more calm and quiet but just as prone to trouble as her older sister. 

-Michael is a loser and Ligaya is embarrassed to be seen with him in public. He knows this and makes it his mission to go out of his way to embarrass her


	5. Christine Conigula

_**Christine Conigula HC’s** _

* * *

-Her full name is Christine Angela Conigula 

-Panromantic-Asexual trans girl

-Her birthname was Connor Alexander 

-The shortest of the SQUAD at 5’2 

-She came out during sixth grade. Her Mom was accepting but her father stormed out. Her parents got a divorce soon after and her mom got full custody over her and her sister. In seventh grade they moved to Middle Borough. 

-She paints her nails multicolored, one for each mood she’s in

-She can play the drums! 

-Huge musical theatre geek!! She has the bootleg to almost every show imaginable. Including but not limited to Hamilton, Waitress, Be More Cool, Mary Poppins, and The Prom. Has a secret tumblr filled with musical animatics and show reviews. AND she knows the choreography to tons of songs from shows. 

-She stress sings and will break into song at all the wrong moments. If she gets lost you can just start singing musical theatre or start reciting Shakespeare and you’re bound to find her. 

-The SQUAD’s group Mom, she makes sure all these kids don’t die doing stupid shit. She’s also always there to answer calls whenever they need to talk or to comfort them. Thanks to this she also has the entire SQUAD willing to attack anyone who hurts her. 

-Very good at pushing down her emotions and putting others before hers. This also causes lots of pent up emotion that will cause her to break down at random moments. Jenna is there when this Mom needs a break. 

-Surprisingly good at video games! 

-Her SQUIP was Ruth Baterguinsberg

-She and Jenna are both in the yearbook committee

-She has patches on her jean jacket!! She has a red heart, an asexual one, a pansexual coloured rainbow, one that says ‘Femenist!’, an a LSOH themes one that reads ‘Feed me Seymour!’

-Talks to herself. A lot. 

-Her writing is very bubbly and she dots all her i’s with flowers cause it makes her happy. 

-Sometimes she’ll get SQUIP nightmares at five am and start crying and cuddle herself till she has to go to school. She tries to 

-She loves stars and astrology!! When she was little she wanted to be an astronaut to play among the stars and be the first woman to go to Mars. 

-Very proud of her fish!! She has two clownfish names Marley and Nemo, a palette surgeon fish named Dory, a yellow tang named Yellow and a Siamese fighting fish named Dot. 

-After the SQUIPCIDENT she basically forced everyone to stay in theatre. After a Midsummer Nightmare they put on Shrek, the year after that Hairspray! and Heathers. 

-Rich and her are two of the shortest of the SQUAD and are usually dance partners. 

-Volunteers at the community theatre teaching sick kids plays. She’s put on Aladdin Jr. and A very Potter Musical.

-Gets crushes like it’s nobody’s business. Called her cute? You’re suddenly the most wonderful person in the world. 

-Hardcore Boyf-Riends and helped Jeremy asking Michael out. 

-She has anxiety, ADD and some OCD

-Has a pre-show ritual of showering with strawberry scented shampoo, eating two cups of lucky charms with whole milk, wear four hair pins equally spread out, walk into the theatre shout ‘Macbeth!’ At the top of her lungs and do two laps around the stage just shouting whatever frustrations she has. 


	6. The Conigula Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your comments and kudos on the last few chapters!! They really mean so so much

_** The Conigula Family Headcannons ** _

* * *

-Christine lives with her Mother named Rita Kathleen Conigula (she became Duan-Chin when married but she quickly threw out the last name after her husband and her got divorced)

-Christine doesn’t get her eccentricity from this woman, she doesn’t raise her voice and is almost always calm and collected. 

-She’s a pharmacologist! She works long hours at the pharmacy and isn’t often at home

-The actual Mom to the SQUIP SQUAD. She brings cupcakes to all of Rich’s recitals and makes an effort to buy Brooke’s pastries

-Rita just loves her daughters a lot

-When Christine first came out Rita was supportive albeit confused, she wasn’t raised knowing LGBTQ+ things and it took her a few weeks of research to know what she could do to make Christine feel at home. 

-Very supportive Mom, she leaves bright sticky notes reminding Christine she loves her and to take her hormones and don’t let anyone bring her down. 

-Christine’s Dad was named Xavier Duan-Chin and he was raised extremely conservative and traditional. 

-He couldn’t accept that he had two daughters. 

-He refused to let Christine transition even after coming out and would purposefully strip her of any possessions he deemed ‘girly’ along with refusing to call her by her pronouns. 

-Rita and Xavier fought constantly, till one day Xavier has enough of it and stormed out on his family. Rita, now a single Mom, took her two daughters and when Christine was in eighth grade they moved to Middleborough. 

-Christine’s little sister is named Stephanie who is 10 and she is a little cinnamon roll, will hug anyone in a 15 meter radius. 

-She has dreams o be a movie star and constantly steals her Moms makeup. 

-Christine is in charge of her most of the day, they marathon bootlegs, and Christine does her makeup

-Admires Christine like a Goddess


	7. Rich Goranski

_**Rich Goranski Headcannons** _

* * *

-His full name is Richard Axel Goranski 

-Bisexual cis boy 

-Second shortest of the SQUAD at 5’4 

-He is an absolutely ripped shortbean who will sucker punch anyone if triggered. Punching is his first defense mechanism, but after the SQUIP and learning to actually share his feelings and talk he doesn’t result to violence unless it is necessary. 

-His SQUIP was Evil Kermit. He would watch a lot of the Muppets growing up and it quickly became a comfort show.

-When his SQUIP really wanted him to obey he would switch to the voice of Rich’s mother. 

-He has anxiety, dyslexia, PTSD, depression-Yeah this kid is really messed up 

-Rich comes from a very prestigious and religious family whom are extremely wealthy. Growing up Rich was forced into many activities he never actually wanted to do. Thanks to this he is in his church’s choir, he plays violin, piano and clarinet. 

-At first he was very shy about his profesional activities but the SQUIP SQUAD loves and supports him and goes to all of his recitals. He learns to embrace it.

-He owns an army of bunny rabbits. Cause they’re small and fierce like him, the leader of the army is named Cottontail and he dresses him up with a bow and bell. 

-When he was SQUIPPED the SQUIP made him go to the gym constantly to gain muscle. Afterwards he mostly kept his gym routine (he gained some weight yeah) but he, Jake and Chloe are gym pals. 

-He and Christine are dance partners

-Jake has him as Bitesizedbadass on his phone

-He is terrified of bright noises and flashes. After the SQUIPCIDENT he also has pyrophobia and has insomnia. 

-Wakes up from nightmares at like four in the morning, he feels like he’s suffocating

-The left side of his face was badly affected by the fire. He is partially blind and deaf in the left side of his face. 

-Is constantly dyeing his hair, every year for pride he dyes it the colours of the bi flag 

-He rather enjoys makeup and dresses and won’t object to wearing them and ROCKING them. Plus he has the talent of being able to run in heels.

-He is an absolute WEEB. He loves anime and manga and has basically watched every episode of DragonBallZ and Pokémon known to mankind. He’s rather quiet about it, but he has Piccolo pins on his backpack. 


	8. The Goranski Family

_** The ~~b r o k e n~~ Goranski Family Headcannons  ** _

* * *

-Rich’s Mom is named Cadence and she came from a very wealthy family and who got married to his Dad when they were only 23. 

-Cadence loves both her children and swears her husband is a better person he just-he’s just _lost_ a little. 

-She’s tired a lot of the time from her work, she’s both the leader at her church and an accountant for Lohst Enterprises. Plus she doesn’t have much say in her house, she isn’t there a lot of the time. When she is she’s sleeping. 

-Most definitely has some form of depression. 

-Rich and Kevin care for their mother with all their hearts. They would **_KILL_** anyone who dares hurt her. 

-Shanon is a dick. 

-He is a businessman who got so bored and tired with his life that he turned to drinking to feel something. Soon the alcohol proved to be better than nothing so he is constantly drunk

-He has violent mood swings which get **_HEAVY_**. The smallest thing can send him into a frenzy. 

-Shannon doesn’t believe in the whole ‘mental health’ thing. When Rich was first diagnosed with anxiety he didn’t put him on medication for it nor did he bother to offer help when he would break down. He just hit him. 

-Rich has a scar over his right eyebrow from being smashed in the head with a beer bottle, a scar on his stomach from that one time he was shanked, one on his chin from getting stitches after getting punched into a wall. He has other small ones but he doesn’t talk about them. 

-He yells at Cadence and Rich

-Rich and Kevin have learned to sneak around when their father is at home. 

-Rich has an older brother named Kevin Goranski, and he grew up being the ‘star child’ in the household.

-All his life Kevin was the model child, always seeming to be perfect, he was all repressed emotions, sunshine, and rainbows

-When he went off on his mission to Uganda however this ‘fantasy vision’ of reality was shattered. 

-He FaceTimes Rich whenever he has time and he’s off preaching and living traumatized happily with his boyfriend Connor McKinley. 

-He tells Rich about the warlords, and the baptizing, and the frog fucking and Rich just LIVES for it.


	9. Jake Dillinger

_**Jake Dillinger Headcannons  
**_

* * *

-His full name is Jacob Donat Dillinger 

-When people find out about his middle name it’s donut puns galore

-Tallest of the SQUIP SQUAD at a whopping 6’3 

-Pansexual cis boy

-In charge of giving people piggyback rides 

-By people I mean sleeping Rich

-He and Jenna are cousins (somehow) and they have a solid ‘I protect your rep if you protect mine’ pact

-Of course they sometimes break this pact but they’re still good friends. 

-After the fire Jake is staying at Jenna’s spare room. He works at the animal shelter and is trying to get a job at Chipotle, volunteers at the animal shelter.

-His SQUIP was Airbud but with the voice of his parents

-After the SQUICIDENT there are days when his legs just don’t work. Those days he’ll use his crutches or his wheelchair 

-He decorated his wheelchair with strings of tinfoil. It gets tangled in the wheels but dammit it makes him happy. 

-Founder and director of the GSA

-Stress bakes

-“Jake are you okay-?”

-“I’m making lemon squares _NO I’M NOT FUCKING OKAY!_ ” 

-He LOVES animals! He has an Akita named Gregg, a Chow Chow James Po, a British Shorthaired cat named Mae and a Snowshoe cat named Mr.Mistofolees.

-Captain of every afterschool activity ever, and surprisingly good at model UN

-He works **_OUT_**

-Second one in the SQUAD to have abs

-I kid you not there is a ‘I have slept with Jake and didn’t like it’ club at school. Jenna has a record of how many people he’s been with and it fills around two pages. 

-Even after breaking up him and Christine are great friends, they’ll binge musicals together and talk about life. He kills anyone who dares hurt her. 

-Spa days with Jenna and Brooke. 

-Gym pals with Chloe and Rich. 

-Was never particularly mean to Jeremy and after the SQUIPCIDENT they became track and field buds.

-Has ADHD and dyslexia and has never gotten real help for either of them so classes are really hard for him. Jenna and Chloe try to help him out in any subject he doesn’t understand.

-Rich and him ALWAYS hang out after school, it’s rare not to see them together literally anywhere. They could be pulling pranks, or talking about life, or drinking a smoothie, or doing homework together they’re just never apart. 

-Is the leader is every after school activity in Middle Borough ever. 

-He can sing and play the ukulele really well! It’s just that no one’s ever asked

* * *


	10. The Dillinger Family

_**The Dillinger Family Headcannons**_

* * *

-Jake’s parents are still alive

-They call one month before or after his birthday every year. 

-Jake’s Mom is named Sarah Lucille Dillinger and she was an accountant. 

-She had had three miscarriages before she had Jake and he was her miracle baby. 

-Jake’s Dad was named Roger Dillinger and he was a manager for some famous dude plus a construction worker.

-Jake was spoiled endlessly by his parents, anything that made him happy they would do anything to get. 

-If Sarah had her way she would’ve been been an actress, she sang him to sleep every night and would dance around with him in the living room. 

-Despite then being very sweet people they weren’t morally right sometimes. 

-When Jake was six they left him in a hotel for two weeks when they were off doing business. He only drank tap water and ate the food at the breakfast. 

-They have committed tax fraud for basically all their years married (15). 

-One day they laundered money, sold some drugs, and then they were off. 

-Jake woke up one day in eighth grade to an empty house and a note on the counter saying his parents loved him and they’d be back very soon. 

-Yet to come back. Honestly Jake has little faith they ever will. 

-Since his house has no papers for it Jake doesn’t have to worry about paying the rent. He somehow pays for the air conditioner and food. 

-His parents send him funding for school. 

-He and Jenna are first cousins and after the Halloween incident he goes and lives in their guest room.


	11. Brooke Lohst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s wife time ya’lll

**_Brooke Lohst Headcannons_ **

* * *

**__**

-Her full name is Brooklyn Abagail Lohst 

-One of the shorter girls of the SQUAD at 5’4 

-Do not let this fool you, she has the ability to sucker punch and to carry Christine on her shoulders. 

-Lesbian cis girl 

-Works at Pinkberry part time and she gets a TON of free yogurt 

-One of the few SQUAD members to have her own car. It’s a pink minivan that looks straight out of the 70’s. 

-Her handwriting is very swirly and loopy cursive, but when she’s in a rush it just looks like a bunch of random swirls. 

-She wanted to be a hairstylist when she was younger and loves playing with hair. Like anybody who offers to let her brush their hair is guaranteed to have their entire head braided.

-She has matching nipple piercings with Chloe and a tattoo of a songbird on her ankle. 

-She’s a HUGE comic book nerd, she owns every edition of the Marvel comics ever and vows never to miss a comic con. Owns a shirt that says ‘I’m Iron man’s daughter’ with Iron Man’s chest design on it. 

-She’s also a huge anime nerd. Rich introduced her to it and she fell in love. 

-Her favourite genre is magical girls. 

-She’s watched the original Sailor Moon and Sailor Moon Crystal, Tokyo Mew Mew, Yumeiro Pattisiere, Your Lie in April. 

-Her bed is covered halfway with stuffed animals and her room is basically a plant sanctuary. She and Chloe are ‘Plant Mums’ of over twenty different succulents, cacti, sunflowers, roses, and other assorted flowers and greenery. 

-She can play the ukulele and she and Christine often do duets. 

-Stoner buddies with Michael. 

-She did actually think Jeremy was a nice guy when they were ‘dating’. She was only dating him to make Chloe jealous, she didn’t actually like him like that. 

-Even after they broke up she and Jeremy remained good friends and they’ll often go to the mall together. 

-Rich and Brooke have known each other since they were two. Rich’s Mom works for Brooke’s Dads enterprise so they grew up together. Some of the earliest childhood memories Brooke has is of her and Rich sneaking off to escape barbecues and eating ice cream instead. 

-She knew she was a lesbian the day she met Chloe. 

-She loves to knit!! She has knitted all of her sweaters and winter clothing. Plus she knit everyone in the SQUAD pride themed winter accessories like scarfs and mittens. 

-As much as she loves to bake she just sucks at it, big time. It’s better to just clench your teeth and admit her burnt crepes are safe for human consumption. 

-She loves to skate and snowboard!!! 

-Has depression but doesn’t let that stop her. 

-She has four birds which she’s had since she was like three and she’s honestly surprised they’re still alive. They are her pride and joy and she cares for them endlessly. They’re two cockatiels (Blueberry and Strawberry), a green pudgie (Kiwi) and a lovebird (Mango). 

-She has alopecia and went bald when she was in her sophomore year. She usually wears caps or bandanas. 

-When she first lost her hair she was super self-conscious so to make her feel better her Dads bought her a bunch of high quality wigs, and Chloe always buys her fashionable caps and bandanas. 

-Her favourite cap is blue and has the lesbian heart on it. 

-She owns a long blonde wig that reminds her of her old hair, a jet black one she uses when she’s emo, a rose pink one, and a teal one when she feels like cosplaying Hatsune Miku. 


	12. The Lohst Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These guys are so pure
> 
> Also YES it is THAT Tony and THAT Steve

_**The Lohst Family Headcannons** _

* * *

-Brooke’s Dad is named Stevenson ‘Steve’ Lohst

-He was a soldier who got sent back after a pretty traumatic experience and is the Human Resource Manager for this super fancy chain of resorts and hotels named ‘Stark Enterprises’

-He’s a huge softie

-When Brooke was little he’d carry her on his shoulders and play ‘airplane’ and they’d fly around the world. 

-Brooke’s mom was named Charity-Iris Sultana Lake (She became Lohst when she married)

-She was a spitting image of Brooke

-Her voice was soft and melodic, she would sing Brooke to sleep every night. 

-Steve and her were married for a good six years. 

-Charity died when Brooke was three of pneumonia 

-Brooke doesn’t remember her Mom much, all she can really remember washer voice. 

-The owner of Stark Enterprises just so happens to be Steve’s very close friend, Thomas Anthony, known to close friends as ‘Tony’, Stark. 

-After Charity died he really helped the Lohst’s out. He’d offer to pay for funeral arrangements, pay for therapy, give Steve days off to recover, pick up and take care of Brooke, literally anything the family needed. 

-Brooke started to see a lot more of this Tony guy and grew attached to him. She liked him, he always had something to make her smile. And despite all the schedule rearranging Tony loved taking care of Brooke. 

-During this time Steve and Tony started to get really close, becoming really good friends, which then transcended into them starting to date. 

-Brooke and Steve moved in with Tony when Brooke was around six. The girl now referred to Tony and Steve as her ‘Dads’ 

-When Brooke was nine they decided to seal the deal and get married. All three of them flew off to Canada and it was a beautiful wedding with mostly their close friends in attendance. 

-Tony is always on the move, he’s always tinkering with something or has some meeting to attend to. He’s rarely seen without his phone or outside of a suit. 

-He always tries to make time for his family tho.

-Growing yo he had a fascination with robots and science-fiction, earning him the nickname of ‘Iron Man’

-Calls Brooke ‘Princess’ even when he’s mad. 

-Steve loves to bake so the house is always filled with cookies and other assorted desserts. 

-Steve and Tony love Brooke with all their hearts and spoil her endlessly. 


	13. Chloe Valentine

_**Chloe Valentine Headcannons**_

* * *

-Her full name is Chloe Michelle Valentine

-She’s one of the taller girls of the SQUAD at 5’9

-Her birthday is literally on February 14, aka Valentine’s Day

-She always carries a pocket knife, cause you never know 

-“The bigger the hoop the bigger the ho!”

-She always wears huge hoops on her ears. She has a belly button piercing and always wears a hoop. 

-Chloe is stronk, she grew up the youngest of four and loves to roughhouse. She’s a black belt in karate, takes taqueando and boxing. 

-Even after breaking up she and Jake are gym buddies. They’ll go SUPER super early on Saturdays, lift weights and bitch about their lives. Sometimes Rich joins them. 

-She keeps all of her ex’s sweatshirts and t-shirts so you’ll just see her walking around the house in an oversized varsity jacket or t-shirt five sizes too big for her for a football team she doesn’t even support. 

-Her family are official members of the Disney Fan club and they have yearly family passes, therefore Chloe grew up a Disney nerd. She knows all kinds of obscure trivia and owns every piece of Disney merchandise out there. One of her favourite movies is ‘Mary Poppins’ and she knows the choreography to Supercalifragelisticxpalidocious and can sing the entire song backwards. If you dare diss her Disney love you will get sucker punched. 

-Tries to be less of a bitch after the SQUIPCIDENT. Sometimes she slips up but she’s trying. 

-Carries just about everything imaginable in her purse. Tampons, pads, mini-chocolate bars, fidget spinners, pens, scratch paper, different shades of makeup, a travel hairbrush, toothpaste-You name it she’s got it and will happily give it to you. 

-Her signature is her lipstick kiss. 

-She gets jealous really, really easily and always assumes the worse of people, which makes her act in impulse most of the time and not totally think of the repercussions she’ll face.   


-Has terrible anxiety and minimal OCD, always obsessing with what people think of her and setting really high standards for herself. When she doesn’t reach them she’ll break down crying.

-Not great with?? Emotions?? Her usual response to situations is ‘Suck it up buttercup’ 


	14. The Valentine Family

_**The Valentine Family Headcannons** _

* * *

-Chloe comes from a big family, like BIG BIG family 

-Her Dad is named Seymour Valentine and he’s a dentist with a huge passion for botany. 

-Her Mom is named Audrey Fuulquard (she became Valentine when she married). She’s a dermatologist and the one responsible for Chloe’s flawless skin. 

-Chloe gets her height from them, with Seymour being 5’11 and Audrey being 6’3 (though she usually looks 6’9 since she’s never seen without her six inch heels) 

-Seymour’s pride and joy, aside from his children of course, are his plants. He turned his spare room into a huge indoor greenhouse and he has plants from all over the world. His prized possession is a Venus Flytrap he got from China, it’s the size of an ox and has a strict diet of pigs blood. Growing up the children were always under the threat that they’d ‘Be fed to the plant’ if they misbehaved. They used to be terrified of the plant but now they love it like a family pet. 

-Seymour is a soccer Dad and he just loves and supports his sons and daughter so much. It can be all quiet at a game or match and he will be cheering his ass off, and you better believe he has a foam hand for each of his children.

-Audrey is tired, she is constantly on her feet, running around and setting discipline in her offices and in her house so she rarely gets a break.

-Has at least 12 ‘Worlds best Mom’ coffee cups which are almost always full of scolding hot coffee. 

-Never seen without  at least concealer, lipstick, and some brig get eye makeup

-Chloe has three older brothers who love roughhousing and so she grew up as ‘one of the boys’ 

-The oldest is named Mackenzie ‘Mac’ Thomas Valentine and he’s 24, not doing really well. He’s got a hippie stoner vibe and he’s currently studying music theory and living on his own. Chloe goes to visit him when she needs to get away from the world and just to catch up to her older bro. 

-Next is Tucker Colton Valentine who is 21 and just like the poster child for all things good. He’s got it all, a girlfriend, a quaint little apartment, a job as a pizza delivery guy, and is working through his physical therapy degree, so that’s great. 

-Then is Ram Douglas Valentine who is 19 and just out of high school. He’s going off to college soon on a football scholarship and he’s the one who used to tease Chloe the most when they were growing up. He did this because he loved his sister and wanted to make sure she grew up to be a tough cookie. He isn’t the smartest crayon in the bunch but he’s still sweet. Oh and he’s dating this guy, Kurt Dunstock?

-Chloe talks to her brothers for relationship advice and they generally have a really chill relationship 


	15. Jenna Rolan

_**Jenna Rolan Headcannons** _

* * *

-Her full name is Jennifer Abella Rolan 

-She’s a tol gorl at 5’6

-Lesbian asexual cis girl, loud and proud! 

-She carries a bunch of notecards for when she wants boys to leave her alone. Like after a terrible flirting attempt she will hand them a notecard that says ‘Thank you for the compliments but you just hit on a flaming hot lesbian. Sorry :)’ 

-She started dyeing her hair back in middle school, once she dyed the entire thing green and purple. Rich admired her confidence back then and the summer of freshman year he asked if she could dye his hair. It became their bonding routine.

-Dependable af, this girl has got your back no matter what. Need to cuddle at four in the morning? She’s there. Need science notes at eleven pm for an assignment that was due over two months ago? She’s you girl. Need to bake twenty seven pies under two hours for a bake sale? She’ll get them done in one. 

-She’s a huge horror movie fan. She has a tumblr filled with gifs and rants about her favoruite horror movies. 

-She’s amazing at cosplaying and stage makeup, she helps the school plays with all the makeup they need done. She’s very good at gory homemade effects and at the same time huge glittery eye makeup. Plus she is a whiz at secondhand shopping, literally her whole closet is from thrift stores and second hand shops 

-Christine got her into musicals and she loves ‘Sweeney Todd’ and ‘Carrie: The Musical’ but if people ask she’ll say ‘Shrek’ 

-She is a bootleg queen, literally any bootleg for even the most obscures shows she’s got and she’ll happily give it to you 

-She’s in the yearbook committee with Christine, the choir and she can belt like a queen. 

-Jenna is an Instagram model! She focuses on spreading self-love and body positivity! Plus she always forces her friends into pictures with her 

-In middle school she was the main bitch of the school, taking Chloe under her wing to make her popular. She was mean and spiteful to people for no reason, people don’t usually remeber this Jenna since a mysterious and traumatic incident made her see the value that rumors had. 

-She gives great bear hugs!! 

-She is literally a siren, she can start humming and people will fall asleep so she can scroll through their phones. 

-Her SQUIP was her greatest enemy, herself. 

-TBH she gives really good advice for relationships and personal problems, but no one really comes to her for advice. 

-Always tries to stay relevant, making sure her voice is heard, it doesn’t matter if what she’s saying is true or not. She panics is she’s swept aside or ignored, fearing people don’t care about her anymore. 

-She can get into a really bad state at times, thinking she doesn’t matter and the world might even be better without her.

-She doesn’t sleep much.

-Her family has a beach house and one day when she was little she found a baby seagull chick which she kept and named Pearlie.


	16. The Rolan Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last part of my character/family HCS!! What would ya’ll like to see published next?

**_The Rolan Family Headcannons_ **

* * *

-Jenna’s Mom is names Paulette and she‘s a hairdresser who had majored in computer programming. 

-When she was in her 20’s she spent four years living in Ireland where she fell in love with some guy named Dewey who left her after around a month of dating. She returned to America, heartbroken, wanting a drink, and very pregnant. 

-She’d take Jenna to the salon every day after she was born and Jenna would sit and gossip with all the other regulars. 

-Taught Jenna basically everything she knows about dyeing hair, thrift shopping, rocking acrylic nails, anything. 

-At the salon would always show up this really hot UPS guy that Jenna could immediately tell her mother liked. 

-All the salon workers and Jenna gathered together and decided to set up the UPS guy with Paulette. 

-UPS Guy, Named Kyle, and Paulette immediately clicked. Talking about their Irish backgrounds, their love for sea creatures, their deadbeat jobs, eventually they started to date. 

-Got married after two year of dating.

-Kyle is a relatively quiet man, believing that actions speak louder than words. He loves his daughter and his wife to death. 

-They bought a bulldog when Paulette and Kyle got married and named him Rufus. 

-With Kyle and Jenna’s encouragement Paulette opened her own salon in collaboration with the old salon she worked at. It’s called ‘Hair Love’ and they also feature dog grooming. 

-Jenna works at her Mother’s salon from time to time and knows ALL the gossip about everyone. She also helps with her Moms advertising. It’s all 90’s aesthetic and bright fun colours. 


	17. Religious stuffs before we get to the holiday stuff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be done in December but!!! Better late than never!!

-Alright first we settle some religious things!! 

-Jeremy is canonically Jewish, he had his barmitzfah when he was 13 and can speak nearly perfect Hebrew  
  
-Michael is Anglican and he is surprisingly serious about the whole religion thing. 

-Rich grew up very strictly Mormon, while he still holds Mormon beliefs he is largely non practicing 

-Christine and Chloe are both Catholic-Christian

-Brooke is Jewish! 

-Jenna is mostly a woman of science. While she does believe that God exists she also thinks She is currently too busy up in heaven to bother with Earth

-Jake doesn’t believe in anything and celebrates the winter solstice. 

-Doesn’t mean he doesn’t throw a huge party every holiday season 

-Brooke spends the holidays with her family and she loves it. On the last night of Hanukkah all her family comes together to sing songs and light the menorah

-Her Dads are always real cuddly and it’s very warm and nice 

-Jeremy and his Dad usually invite Michael over to spend Hanukkah and it’s a blast. While Michael isn’t Jewish he still ensues in all the traditions. They stay up all night playing dreidel, gorging on latkes and chocolate coins. Honestly it’s really fun and they wouldn’t have asked for better company. 

-When Brooke found out Jermo was Jewish she invites him and his Dad to celebrate with her family 

-Christmas with the Mells is not a one day celebration. It’s at LEAST a week. 

-All of Michael’s Tías and cousins and Grandparents and ‘Yeah she was my best friend in college’ comes to celebrate with him and his Moms. 

-The food is enough to feed an army yet it's all gone in a matter of five hours. 

-For Christmas Christine and Stephanie help their mom cook a big meal of traditional Chinese Christmas foods. They celebrate in family and are fairly quiet about it, just thankful to be together. 

-They go ALL OUT on Chinese New Years. Christine invites all the SQUIP SQUAD and dresses in her traditional Chinese clothing. They make paper lanterns and light them and hang them up. Rita makes a FEAST of dumplings, noodles, mochi, and they all light fireworks. 

-Chloe spends Christmas with her family and always invites Brooke over. The Valentine household is crowded as shit cause all her brothers and their S/O’s are home for the holidays. 

-Audrey is always up to her neck with stress and decorating the house and putting up lights. Seymour is a good husband and gets all the kids to decorate a section of the house. 

-In the end the house always looks like a mess of aesthetics but that’s okay. 

-Jenna’s fam has a tradition in knitting and dressing up in Christmas sweaters, then sending hideous family postcards to everyone. 

-Jake’s parents used to spent all of Dec. 24 walking down the park and looking at the lights and lanterns and shop windows and just admiring everything and enjoying each other’s company. 

-Jake usually spends his holidays with Rich and since Rich’s family celebrates Christmas he does to.

-Steve and Cadance aren’t home due to how busy Church is around the holidays so Jake and Rich have the _wholeee_ house to themselves

-Rich and him go _ALL OUT_ on decorating 

-Kevin comes back to visit (and brings his BF Conner) and the four of them just have a grand ol’ time!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Keep it Classy!!


	18. SQUIP SQUAD PARTY TIME

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you think two burnt legs, a burnt house, and probably dead parents is going to stop Jake from throwing a party? 
> 
> You're dead wrong.

-Now if you think a burnt down house, crippling anxiety and two broken legs is going to stop Jake Dillinger from throwing a party you are dead wrong.

-It’s a small party, just among the SQUIP SQUAD, he calls it the Christmas-Hanukkah-Kwanza-Winter Solstice- _WHATEVER PEOPLE CELEBRATE IN THE WINTER TIME_ -party!

-Ugly sweaters are a _MUST_

-Brooke knits her own and also knits the entire SQUAD pride winter attire. So “You can stay warm in style!”

-Jeremy wears a light blue knit sweater with snowflakes and ‘I’m jewish’ stitched onto the front

-Michael wears a dark red one with polar bears and gets teased for being a coke commercial. He also brings a blue cap that has a mistletoe sewn onto it, everyone who goes up to him has to kiss him.

-Rich wears a sweater with a red front and green sleeves which reads ‘Santa’s Favourite Ho’

-Christine wears a cream sweater with a pattern of stars sewn on.

-Jenna wears a black sweater with HUGE Christmas lights that light up whenever she gets hugged.

-Chloe wears a dark blue turtle neck sweater with a huge boob window that has a snowflake pattern.

-Brooke wears a light blue turtle neck with a menorah that has LED lights sewn into it.

-Jake wears red boxers lined with jingle bells and knee high socks lined with fluff.

-They throw the party in Rich’s basement with Kevin and Conner being their ‘adult supervision’

-Chloe forgot to buy a tree so they tape green duct tape to the wall and string LED lights over it.

-Jake, Rich, Conner, and Kevin spent the entire afternoon baking so there was enough gingerbread men, cookies, and Christmas Cake to last a lifetime. It was all eaten by the end of the party. As well as some totally not spiked Eggnog.

-They pull up the Christmas karaoke and things get WILD.

-Michael and Christine are surprisingly good dancers and everyone is in shock when Chrissy starts to full on breakdance.

-At some point Rich and Jake start grinding onto each other before violently making out. Jenna takes a video of it all and _HOH BOY_ she has some blackmail material.

-Somewhere during the night Jeremy plays the good and classic Christmas musical _‘Falsettos’_ and begins to screech the lyrics to ‘Four Jews in a Room’ cause homeboy is Jewish

-They all sob at Whizzers death

-At one point Brooke stubs her toe so she and Chloe spend a good three hours on the couch drunk crying

-By the end of the party Brooke and Chloe wake up on the couch, Jeremy and Michael on the stairs with popcorn in their hair, Rich in a kitchen drawer and Jake in the bathroom, Christine sprawled on the carpet and Jenna went to sleep in Rich's spare bed.

-Hangovers for everyone! 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!! Keep it Classy!!

**Author's Note:**

> Hello beauties!! And welcome to my first BMC book on AO3! 
> 
> Comments and kudos are appreciated!  
> Keep it Classy!  
> 


End file.
